Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Polygamist


 Today I would like to talk to you all about my experience of working with a polygamist. I know right? I was excited too!

I actually worked with a polygamist girl while working at a grocery store. I was 19 at the time and my hair was down to my butt. I don’t remember her name but let’s just call her Eliza. Anyway, I could tell right off the bat that something was not quite right with Eliza but I went ahead and gave her the benefit of the doubt.


One day on our lunch break I started to ask her about her family. Now at this point I had no clue she was a polygamist. She dressed like the rest of us and did not have one of those long sleeved ugly dresses that I still think would be fun to surprise my husband with in the bedroom. I am curious to what his reaction would be. She did however have the famous hair do that you see the majority of them wear. Anyway… She pulled out pictures from her wallet. The picture was of a man with a bunch of ladies standing around him. I thought that maybe they were Eliza’s sisters.  So I asked her about them. She said, “Oh no. Those are my sister wives.”  Immediately I had so many questions flood my head. But the one I wanted to ask the most was about her sex life! Because let’s be honest, we all want to know. She told me that they take turns. Everyone has a different night. I thought, “Wow, how kinky is that?” The best part though, is her mom was married to her husband also. They shared him. Oh it’s okay. I threw up in my mouth a little bit too so don’t worry. That is a normal reaction. That is your bodies’ way of saying, “This is just so wrong!”


Her husband / Dad came in to our business one day. He saw me with my long hair and I guess he thought I was cute. He walked up to me and said, “So you work with Eliza huh? You really should come over to our house one day so that way we can have a big bar b q and get to know each other more.” It was about as creepy as having Mr. Rogers knock at your door asking you if you would like to be his neighbor.
Now I also have to put out there that not all polygamists are as bizarre as Eliza and her family. I have actually seen some normal ones. I will be the first to admit though that I get excited when I see one in public! To me that is more fascinating than seeing a famous person.


I will also be the first to admit that I am addicted to the show Sister Wives. I find it not only very interesting, but funny. I would be lying if I told you that I never day dream of getting a phone call from Mary ( one of the wives on the show) and asking me if I would like to come over and have dinner with them and could I please make the mashed potatoes because those are Kody’s favorite.

-               -    Onion Girl

10 comments:

  1. I think that if a bunch of women wanted to get together to help each other raise their kids, and they can do it, great! But submiting themselves to one man (for all the women) I would have to say hell no to that. I think I am waay to red of a personality to allow for that.

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  2. I will just say that I am not the type of chick that could share a household and a man with 10 other women. Especially if those women had their own kids. I would probably commit multiple murders or go insane.

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  3. Hmmm... all was sounding good until the whole Mom thing. That is a bit of a deal-breaker. I'm going to have to say no amount of magic underwear makes that living situation worth it.

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  4. I am way too selfish for this polygamist shit. Also, where the hell do you live? Now I'm thinking like "wow, I could have one NEXT DOOR to me."

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  5. Dude, you could be WIFE NUMBER 5 when new number 4 gets a bit past it! I don't mind polygamists. It's not for me, but if they want to do their own thing, whatever. Fascinating. I find it funny that it's illegal for one dude to have numerous wives yet if he was just a guy who was living with four girlfriends and a bunch of shared kids, it would be perfectly legal. Except social services would have a field day and declare them a cult. Anyway, I'd rather have a bunch of kittens than a bunch of men. For reals.

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  6. OMG !! THIS is really better than stalking the Amish (I have a weird fascination with them) I would SOOOO have wormed an invite to dinner just to see them all in their natural habitat.

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  7. Heh heh.

    Like I said...I could if it meant they (the wives) were also taking care of ME (just not in the sexual way).

    *SMILE*

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  8. I want to know why it's almost always one man and lots of women and why I can't have several 'brother husbands'. (OK - because one man is difficult enough to deal with and I'd NEVER get the TV remote.)

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  9. WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOA.

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  10. lol. i remember telling my ex-boyfriend that i needed more than one man to satisfy all of my needs. i didn't NECESSARILY mean sexually, but perhaps that notion could be included. LOL. if men can have multiple lives, why can't women have multiple husbands. do i sound like a cult leader yet?

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