Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Customer Service

Sometimes I wonder if they only stick the stupid people behind customer service desks at retail stores. Either that or I just have really bad luck!

  I was returning 3 items today at a hardware store. They were priced at $5.97 each. I had my receipt in hand and was ready to get my money back. So I was confused when I only got back $6.37. I asked the lady who I will call “Nancy” what was going on. I explained to her that I was returning 3 items at $5.97 each. She said, “well it says on your receipt 3@ $5.97---------  $17.91.” I said, “Yeah that is what it says, so that means you owe me for two more items still. She says,” no, because you bought 3 items for $5.97 in total.” I tried explaining it to her again. She just stared at me with a blank stare. I tried explaining it to her AGAIN but this time very slow. Very Very slow.

I could not help but notice the fake lady bug tattoo on her wrist. You know the kind that you soak on with water and peel the back off.   That really has nothing to do with this story though so anyway…

She said” Well, we only give you back the lowest price of an item. So if you bought 3 of them for $5.97 that would be a really good deal and probably our lowest price because that is really low. But I can tell the way you are looking at me that I should probably call my manager over?”The manager walks over. I Show her the receipt. She said to Nancy “oh okay she bought 3 items priced at $5.97 each. So go ahead and refund her the $17.91.” Nancy then says “Oh okay!  Ha Ha! I was confused. So you want me to give her a gift card?” Manger says, “Uh no, you need to give her cash in the total of $17.91.”

Thank heavens for that manager because I really did not have the patients for Nancy anymore. I wanted to deal with her about as much as I would like to deal with a yeast infection. Especially after having to deal with an automated system over the phone with my insurance company this morning.

I call them and they did the whole, for this press 1, for that press 2 blah  blah blah blah! All I wanted to do was talk to a representative live on the phone. It would not give me a number to select. It kept running me in circles while playing gay music. Finally I said ‘HOLY HELL! *******  ** *** ** * *** **** ** ** **** *** ****** *******!!!” I am not kidding! As soon as I went off and started screaming in the phone it said “ Now transferring.” It worked! It transferred me to a live person! It was awesome!

So now I know next time to just scream abusive profanities into the phone. Workes like a charm.

- Onion Girl


  1. Sad to say I can't do math either. I need a 5 line display calculator to balance my checkbook.

  2. I'm all about the profanity in the right setting! :)

  3. Getting me some tips. Oh yeah. Fucking hate ignorant unqualified customer service folk. Fucking...***@^%#^&!&*()!)*#@^&.

  4. Occasionally, they put a person behind customer service that has brains. Unfortunately, that person that has brains is often demanded elsewhere, because everyone wants that brainy person in the retail store, because they always hire those that lack brains. I also covered for people who missed their shift, faced the shelves for people who didn't understand the concept of straightness, and checked people when the lines got long. Occasionally, I would actually end up back behind customer service where I was assigned to work, and I was able to help a lot of people...that is, unless the numbskull before me left a load of work undone.

    I too had problems with call centers, because I could never get anyone to answer, I could never understand anyone when they did, and they could never help me with what I needed to do. I also did not have the option of endlessly stringing curse words together in front of the guests. In the end, my calls to India weren't of much help.