Friday, May 20, 2011

Birth Control

Today might be a very touchy subject for a lot of people. So if you are easily offended, it might be best for you to just not read today’s post.

Today I would like to talk about people who do not believe in birth control. Yep I am going there. You see, I live in a state where people  pop out kids left and right. Not only that, they continue to pop them out one right after another because they feel they are supposed to "multiply" and replenish the earth and  I guess in their mind that means have as many as you possibly can even if it is killing you. Is it that I am jealous because I cannot have kids of my own? Um… maybe, but that is not the point right now! Even if I could just pop them out left and right, I wouldn’t. Honestly, even if I only had one or two children, that would be fine. Because you see, I do not have this strong urge to be a gumball machine!

Now do not get me wrong, I know a lot of people who have a ton of kids. The majority of them are great people. In fact, I know one family in particular just around the corner of me that I am very fond of, and they have 12. This blog does not apply to them, because I love their family. In fact I am jealous that my family is not as great as theirs. Anyway…I am talking about those who pop out kids left and right. The ones who are not awesome but crazy as all get out!

 I feel that birth control is just fine. In fact, I think a lot more people should be on it. Come to think of it, I wish my ex mother in law was on it years ago because then I would have never  met my ex and the thought of that is actually kinda fantastic! Because honestly, anyone who has met him knows the best part of him ran down his mom’s leg.

For someone to say, “Well, if God did not want me to have more kids, than I would not keep getting pregnant” I get that God is great, but he also expects us to use our own judgment! That would be like me walking out in the middle of the street while saying, “If God did not want me to get hit, I wouldn’t.” Do you see how ignorant that would be for me to say that? In fact if I were to do that, I would expect a car to come hit me right in my @ss and knock me on my face!

I have known ladies who keeping popping them out. I even knew a family who had 17. I feel bad for their children. Because they are the ones who suffer all because the parents wanted to “multiply and replenish the earth.” Which by the way is doing so even if you only have one or two.

 If you have to live on top ramen and cans of tuna fish, then you should probably get on birth control. If your kids no longer fit in a normal sized van, then you might want to get on birth control. If you have to pack 5 kids into each room, than you might want to consider birth control. If the last 4 pregnancies almost killed you and your snatch is saying “Oh please gosh not another one!” you might want to buy birth control. If you look like a hot mess and people think you are 15 years older than you really are, you might want to get on birth control.
The majority of the time, it is those who eat crazy sauce that keep popping out kids left and right. Just because you can keep having kids, doesn’t mean you should.

About a year and a half ago I was walking at the park and I saw a lady I recognized who has a very large family. She has 15 kids now. She was pregnant at the time and so I asked her if she was having a boy or a girl. Her response was’ Hmm I dunno, just a baby.” What is it? You get to number 10 and think “Screw it! This is just another pregnancy and so who really cares because next year I will be in the same spot I am now”?

I get that birth control is not fun. Trust me I get it! In fact I think the worst one I have ever tried was the patch. That thing was awful! For those of you who say “I think the patch works wonderful”, you are LIARS! Plus, never have a met a person who says” man, I had sex last night and that condom is what did it for me because it was sensational!” I get that most birth control sucks. That is why they have the option of either getting your tubes tied or a vasectomy.

My point is, I wish people would stop being crazy and stop having so many kids!

                                                                - Onion Girl


  1. well i am all for birth control, and MORE OF IT, PLEASE! yeesh! way too many people are breeding. WAY TOO MANY!

  2. Like they said to the Octomom, your vagina is not a clown car. I believe in birth control only if you look at the world population and the potential food shortage and world wide hunger...and more deadbeats on the government payroll welfare.

  3. But the Catholic Church says....

    I use to think I would love to have a dozen kids. I also use to think I wanted to be a nun.
    Then I grew up...

  4. OH MY GOD where do you live that people are having that many babies???? I thought it was crazy that some of my friends from high school have FOUR. Let alone 17! How can you possibly give each child the time and attention that he or she needs when you have 17 of them???

  5. Totes putting the birth control pic up on facebook.