Tuesday, May 3, 2011


I have wanted to go camping for a few years now. Really it makes no sense. I hate the smell of the smoke from the fire. I hate not having my own bathroom. A bush or an outhouse is not my idea of fun. I am a germaphobe and so that does not help matters. I hate all kinds of insects. I am a real girlie girl and do not like to ruff it.

Maybe it is the feeling of getting away that I like. But then again if I were going to just get away for a couple of days I would rather just go to Vegas. Because honestly, who doesn’t like a city that lights up with an STD standing on every corner?

 The last time I went actually camping left me with the feeling of wanting to rock back and forth in a corner. I was sitting at the fire with some friends while we each took turns telling funny stories. One of the married couples decided to retire for the night early. Well I guess they were not thinking when they choose to keep their lantern on while having sex. I am not even kidding. A lantern inside of a tent when it is pitch dark outside= a traumatizing silhouette to all of those who are outside trying to have a good conversation while eating marshmallows.

I have told this story to a couple of people. One person asked me “how do you know that is what they were doing? Maybe they were just trying to find their clothes in their bags? Or maybe they were just cuddling and you thought it was more?" Well, all I will say is this. Never have I been cuddled from my back side while bending over to try and find clothes. So I am pretty sure you get the visual.
So really it does not even make sense that I want to go camping. Maybe I should just throw that idea out the window because the more I think about the experiences I have had, the less appealing it seems.

-          Onion Girl


  1. LOL! You have so many crazy experiences. My life pales in comparison! :) I LOVE camping but my husband doesn't. I am also a germaphobe and I have an iron bladder but I was a tomboy growing up. You do have some options though: go up for a night to see the stars and sit around the campfire and eat yummy food and then go home and take a shower and sleep in your own bed! I hate the morning after the most. :P I just feel gross. Thanks for the laugh!

  2. I like the idea of getting away from it all and I love nature. It's so peaceful. I hate the smoke and dirt too.

    I just laughed at these experiences, oh my.