Saturday, May 7, 2011

Thrift Stores

Today I would like to talk about thrift stores. Isn’t it funny that we all have too much junk and yet we know it! Because when we go to move we think “ Ugh! I have too much stuff! I really need to get rid of some things.” But yet we continue to go to thrift stores and collect not only more crap but other peoples used crap at that! I don’t understand it. Oh I do this too don’t worry. You’re not the only weird one.

Some of the things I find in thrift stores are just wacky! Yet people buy the stuff! I see people all the time with a cart full of garbage. It makes me wonder if they are hoarders. The best thing I have ever found (and I now kick myself for not buying it) was a bong for smoking pot. I am dead serious! It was located in the craft sections where all the old wreaths and wicker baskets are. It was a clear glass bong with potpourri stuffed into it. I am thinking an old lady owned it at one time and thought it must be some kind of vase. It was unused. No residue or anything. The best part, it was only $1.00. I really should have bought it. What a great conversation piece that would have made! "Oh that? Yeah that is just my bong. Don't worry though, I just use it for decoration."

 I have learned that when I go into thrift stores that I need to not talk to anyone, just keep to myself. Go in with a mission and get out. I say this because I have had some very interesting encounters. I made the mistake one time and asked a lady if she could give me her opinion on a couple skirts I had picked out. Oh she gave me her opinion alright along with a bunch of other BS. She gave me her opinion, and then went on to give me her whole life story. She talked about how her husband was a pervert and so they had to separate and how she is now living in a hotel but she likes to walk through the thrift store to kill time. She talked to me about her children and how they are all possessed by Satan and she can’t get the courts to see that. How she wishes she could just kill them to save them from hell. She talked about how she likes to ride her bike around town because there is so much to see and how she wished her bike had two seats that way she could charge people for transportation service.She talked about how she does not need meds because meds are for crazy people.

 I felt so trapped! You may be thinking, “How come you did not just walk away?” Well that is because she was very emotionally unstable and to be honest she scared me. I did not want to offend this lady in any way. As she stood there talking I thought many times about how I could get out of it. My husband even called me while she was talking and I said “oh I have to go my husband is calling” So I turned around to talk to him while looking at clothing. Once off the phone I turn back around and she is still standing there! She says “Do you notice how I waited for you?” I thought “Holy $***! This lady is so nuts!” Finally the store started to close because they were turning the lights off to let people know that it was time to grab your junk and pay. I told her, “Hey, the store is closing we better go.” She said “Oh okay, I better get back to my doll collection.” I said” Oh okay, have fun with your dolls.” She said” Oh I will. I just have the heads of them. I only keep the heads and dispose of the bodies. I have all the heads lined up on a shelf in my room”

She followed me up to the register. I paid first. Once I paid I am not even kidding when I say I ran to my car! I would rather have some dirty old man show up at my door and attack me with a fork than to ever have to talk to that woman again!

Anyway, my whole point is that you never know what or who you will find at thrift store. It’s kind of like what Forest Gump said about a box of chocolate. You just never know what you will get.

-             -  Onion Girl

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